화요일, 12월 30, 2008
죽을 것 같애..
Listening to: my blog songsI am still pretty much in a state of delusion. And listening to se7en's [잘 할게] certainly does not help in alleviating the depression im feeling.
노래 바꿀까?
바꾸면 기분이 나아질 수 있나?
없지..
Met up with juline yesterday in a bid to cheer myself up. It kinda took my mind away when i was out but the yucky feeling just came tumbling back the moment i stepped into my house.
Waking up in the morning is the hardest when the realisation strikes again.
I desperately need to get it into the thick skull of mine that im NO longer in korea.
No more snow..
No more sinchon..
No more myeongdong..
No more korean signboards..
No more subway..
No more people in coats n boots..
No more 김휘문..
Im going nuts soon at this rate.
I know im suppressing what i feel. But it sux at the same time to be whining away like some moron cos that would just attract pity and make me feel more pathetic.
Its not i dont want to wake up. I simply cant. It gets too tiring sometimes to keep reminding myself to wake up from my self-deluded state that i would just give up entirely and let myself wallow in depression.
Time. Everyone tells me i just need more time. Oh well we shall see what time can do for me then.
I have to admit though. I felt lots better yakking away in korean this morning with gahee. Fine i have no sense of belonging to this country.
I should be in korea.
Thats my only conclusion.
N probably the only way to solve my depression.
또 울어버렸다.. @ 10:56 PM
금요일, 12월 26, 2008
The End of it All
Listening to: se7en [잘 할게]Its the last night.
The 3.5 months flew past without being noticed.
Its plain that i do not wish to leave korea but do i even have a choice..
Sianz.
Its the last night.
I know i will still come back but things just wont be the same anymore..
Tears fell when i was staring at the Phone&Fun shop earlier at sinchon.
Thoughts of the past that ran through my mind just cant seem to go away.
I might not wish to walk past that shop again even if i do come back.
Stubborn refusal to admit that i might have grown more attached to the shop than what i had expected.
Its the last night.
The feeling sux like hell.
또 울어버렸다.. @ 1:32 AM
월요일, 12월 08, 2008
Just one line..
IT SNOWED YESTERDAY~~Ha. Sorry.
Too lazy to blog nowadays..
Or rather, not in the mood to do so.
이세상에 어떤 것은
아무리 잊으려고 해도
잊혀지지가 않아
Anyway, snow is really beautiful.
또 울어버렸다.. @ 9:51 AM